life (85) warhammer (50) politics (40) art (38) artists (27) mental health (26) future (25) music (22) culture (18) rabbit hole (12) wolfram (11) morality (8) poetry (8) brutal (7) camp awesome (7) personal history (7) poem (7) psoriasis (7) purity control (7) nWo (6) shame (6) cats (5) fear (5) books (4) crime (4) health (4) map (4) modelling (4) otherworld (4) sexuality (4) canada (3) technology (3) christasthostoraoraret (2) game/play (2) guilt (2) love (2) story (2) sundance (2) words (2) writing (2) zen (2) arcology (1) boomers (1) dream (1) eagles (1) fish (1) fluff (1) food (1) goldstream (1) haiku (1) hands (1) heroism (1) hockey (1) hummingbirds (1) instruments (1) magic (1) money (1) nature (1) sick (1) song (1) teeth (1) whales (1) win (1) youth (1)

Friday, September 17, 2010

):


I can has called in stressed for work today.

I sez to my supervisor, who is a really lovely, cheerful person, I sez, "I have to watch my health." I sez, "the stress there and so many unhappy people is really starting to get to me." "When can we expect you back, will you be in Monday?" "Oh yeah, I'll be in on Monday, I just gotta draw the line for this week."

Lucky that he's an understanding person.

Last night I went for a walk at night to clear my head. Which was stuffed full of work-related unhappiness and conversations. And I found myself having a thought I haven't thought in a very long time now: "what if I just kept walking? you know, just not stop tonite?"

As it was, I have seen this configuration before, and managed to escape with only drenched hair and some really sore legs. But I should not be so unhappy as to be considering walking out of my life. That's a fail.

The last thing I want anyone to think is that I am a wuss. I don't play the psoriasis card, I don't play the depression card. But I feel justified in punking on work today. I tried to address the issues that were causing me significant stress, now enough time has passed with no progress that everyone else is beginning to be as stressed-out as me. And this brings out a critical, cheerfully doomy and jerk side of me I don't like to see. I don't like to see "Why? Cause, Fuck'em, That's Why!!" come out because it rubs off on people. It's an easy demeanor to have without being a helpful one.

We are all pushed so hard to work right now, to keep our precious jobs (the economic crisis was the next 9/11) that we are neglecting ourselves. Well today, in this day which is a day of MY DANG LIFE, I have taken a stand. Now I will take breakfast.

):

2 comments:

  1. let's get our crappy lives together, with sticks.

    I will send you message....

    ReplyDelete
  2. that were well done eh.
    thx for thu idea

    ReplyDelete