From CBC.ca, with heckling by Swimming Eagle:
"At 76, Ron Paul is the oldest candidate running for the Republican presidential nomination."
I don't give a f**k how old he is! I care that he's fit to lead! Why would you open with that??
"He's also the favourite among young political activists in Iowa."
And no-one else that counts?? What about Texas? Nope, no voters there...
"In the last several days, the Texas [emphasis added] congressman won the straw poll of students at Drake University in Des Moines and the much-coveted endorsement of the Daily Iowan, the student newspaper at the University of Iowa."
Oh. Oh, like he's been winning every other straw poll, that's right! Hey, f**k you, taxpayer-funded broadcaster!! You know damn well I didn't hear that from you.
"What's he selling that the young are so keen to buy?"
He's not selling anything. He's a principled politician, a small-c conservative and libertarian with his head on straight. And don't go casting young people as brainless, grasping Christmas consumers. Oops!
"Well, Paul's brand of libertarian conservatism takes the standard American freedom call to a higher pitch entirely."
The cliche that always appears in news articles goes, "higher pitch of hysteria." I'm watching you... Anyway, WTF is a "standard American freedom call"? I hear a lot of people chanting "9/11 Was An Inside Job." Yeah, that must be it.
"All Republicans want a smaller federal government..."
No, all republicans want a smaller government. What Republicans, note the capital R, want, is for America to destroy non-believers and brown people. Oops! Kind of like the shitty Conservatives we have here in Canada.
Conservatism as a concept involves spending sensibly, helping people help themselves, and keeping a reserve for when times get hard. The Conservative Party is a lot of lying, cheating, thieving fundie gasbags. Oops!!
Joking aside, we Canadians have a saying: "Conservative times are hard times."
"...but Paul would have the smallest government of the lot."
Oh Christ! Clearly he's an anarchist.
"He's not just anti-war, he's anti-U.S. military presence anywhere in the world."
Even I'm not anti-war. I'm just anti-, imperialist wars undertaken under false pretenses. There is an enormous difference. Does anyone remember the UN approving the war in Iraq? No! Because it didn't happen!!! Arrest Bush!! Oops...
"Young voters may like the idea that they won't get stuck paying the big bills for foreign adventures. Or maybe they just like his plan to decriminalize drugs."
Don't generalize young voters based on their parsimony or moral leanings. Do you have the slightest idea how varied the "young opinion" really is?? No. F**k you with your pedestal. Now where's my drugs??
"Whatever it is..."
...because it's soooo nebulous and hard to describe... As a writer, I suggest using more words like in all the other articles about all the other candidates...
"...Paul is counting on the vim and vigour of young Republicans to help the old(er) guy get out the vote in the unpredictable early voting states."
Because he's an old guy, and so clearly needs it. God Hell he's old! The photo they chose makes him look like Emperor Palpatine...
Seriously, I have heard Ron Paul speak on a number of occasions; and based on my current information, I deeply respect him, and do endorse him for U.S. President. No fooling. With someone as smart, seasoned and eminently reasonable as Ron Paul, maybe the U.S. could start getting back some of their credibility.
"I'm with you in Rockland / where we hug and kiss the United States under our bedsheets the United States that coughs all night and won't let us sleep"
-- Allen Ginsberg